rants of my life.

Normal?

2012-01-28T20:02:00.001+08:00

Truth to be told,i miss you but i dont know what to do.i must admit that there is not a day that i go on without you passing my mind.sigh when i look at my friends,they do let my hair down and have fun but deep inside,wished you would drop a text to ask how im doing.it hurts having to know that when i wake up everyday,its the same thing.thats why i prefer to make myself busy so it help to make my mind iff things.like i had said before,i miss you.hope youre doing good.

2012

2012-01-21T03:34:00.001+08:00

first post of 2012 and its 3.18am in the morning but i am still not asleep yet and im not sure myself what is wrong.well,i must say ive been pretty good at not telling people that i miss them because eventually,nothing is going to change it.words will remain words until it is proven am i right?so i rather keep my feelings or rather emotions to myself than get disappointed.i must say that yesterday was one of my hurtful moments but i wouldnt want to spill why is that so.

Lately,i have been spending almost all my days with mom.i just like it when she is by my side.its like she gives me the strength.since that it also seems that all my friends are busy with work and stuff,i had not much people to go to.also i realise that i dont have to share my stories with so in the end,mom is there to listen.its like i really appreciate her more than ever before.she is the most strongest woman emotionally.if i continue to rant about this lovely lady,it will go on forever.i love her.thank you,mom.

love life?not ready for any commitments yet because this heart is not fully healed yet.been months,years and i cant belive im still in this state.hahaha whatever and im still getting sad and emotional sometimes when i see something which hurts me.like today.all i could do is to go out and have some space alone.its all the missing you and to add on to the feeling,you found your happiness makes me miss you even more and i find myself end up to the place we always meet.i guess afterall you are ashamed of being with this girl.

well,its 3.33 in the morning.i should probably go off now.Assalamualaikum.

Thirty days.

2011-09-21T20:34:00.001+08:00

Its been quite awhile since i update this space and currently,im updating my blog through mobile.its kind of a tiring routine for me that i have to endure for a month.yeah,i know sometines im at the verge if giving up where i just want to run away from everything and have time all to myself.I have to keep reminding to myself that O level is coming in thirty days time and i have to admit that i am really scared for thus major rxam because of my prelim 2 results.though it gives me some motivation as i have improved,i have to bear in mind that just by improving is not good enough.everything is being so competitive now.all im asking for us just strength.Strength to carry on with this and by the end if november,i dont want to have any regrets ya allah!

Love.all i can say is that i really miss you.every single day i hope i can see you even for awhile or even you drop me a text message.i would be over the moon.other than that,i hope you take good care of yourself.

Till then,
Assalamualaikum.

My battle

2011-08-10T01:02:00.003+08:00

Assalamuaikum. Its already the 10th day of ramadhan and currently the time now is 0105hours and im not in bed yet because tons of thoughts are running through my mind and besides, i have to finish up my coursework A which had been on going since february this year and it will have to be submitted in 9 more days which is also the result of O level mother tongue for those whom have took it for the first half of the year. Ya Allah, i hope i get a distinction. A b3 was a disappointment for me last time and i have not much time left to catch up with every single thing that i am left behind with. Frankly,i am not feeling glad anymore that i am graduating but it is more of the pressure and sadness that is in me. I dont know what is happening to me lately. I have been trying to do my best and every responsibility and try to stay committed to it but it seems like i have to be alone athe end of the day. Afterall, this is my battle and i couldnt possibly hope for a hero to come by because its me against the world. The year is coming to an end soon and i feel like 2011 have been quite tough for me. From losing a close friend to the person i love. I dont know what is happening anymore.maybe,im just not good enough but i dont dare saying that i am not at fault. I am sure that i have done something which cause them to go.sigh, maybe this is just a test from Him.

Prelims is coming in 2 weeks plus time and O level is just in 75 more days. I know that this is my battle which i have to win or else i will regret my whole life. If ever there is a day that i am really useless, i want someone to scream to me in the face that i dont worth living anymore. Patience is what i need right now and keep on going as it is. till then,goodbye.

2011-07-19T08:34:00.002+08:00

hello there.I realise i have been updating frequently now and i have no particular reason for that.Now,the time is 8.36 and i am supposed to get ready for my prac which starts at 10.knowing myself who will always be late,i have to gt ready early but yeah,i always end up failing to meet the target.Currently,i am just glad that prelim 1 is over and im left with prelim 2 and o levels! i dont know if i should be happy about it or scared or nervous but im definitely looking forward to the day.but,i have to work real hard.I got to go now,dont want to be late for school.Till then,Assalamualaikum:)

P/s: I WANT TO EAT CHOC MELTS:(

2011-07-18T16:04:00.002+08:00

I know,life will not always stay on top always but when things happen so fast,its really scary.I got to admit that i am scared of changes and eventhough even i face it myself but i just cant seem to adapt with changes very well.When things change in a way that make a drastic affect on my life,that is where it hits me real hard.Keep telling myself that i must not focus on it so much.For now,all im looking forward for is just ramadhan to come and i want to go for as much terawih as i can.now,i have to study QA cause there is practical tmr.till then,Assalamualaikum.

2011-07-13T22:28:00.002+08:00

hi.its prelim periods and im stressing the hell out of myself trying to absorb as many things that i can.3months isnt much time and just by looking how close i am to the major exams just freaks me out even more.Lately,life isnt going easy for me but i have to face everything as it is.i dont know if it is just me or really things around me are changing.I will be back to myself as soon as i can because things are slowly turning back as it is supposed to be,Alhamdullilah.I havent been getting much sleep lately and only god knows how fatigue im feeling right now.So,i had this blog since june 2007 and i couldnt believe that i am still updating at the very same blog where i started four plus years ago.Maybe after my o levels i will read back all the past post that i have blogged about and i want to see how much have i changed and any possible way that i can find.I am supposed to be studying my chemistry right now but im just taking a short break because my right shoulder have been killing me for the past few days.

Also,ramadhan is coming and im kind of excited about it.i want to go terawih as often as possible but i just dont have any companion to go with.Oh wells,talking about ramadhan just reminds me of the past ramadhan that i have been through for the past few years.it was pretty rough everytime because there will always be problems that i will have to face,it was never easy but im definitely looking forward to meet my cousins.i cant even remember the last time that i met them.

Lastly,all i want to hear right now is your voice.sigh i should be going right now to get back on my books.till then

Assalamualaikum.

2011-07-07T23:14:00.002+08:00

hi. its july already and it seems like time is passing by so fast.i cant believe that im actually left with four more months in cwss than insya'Allah go to the poly of my choice.Currently life for me are at the low points.i havent been acting like myself lately and i just cant help it.I tried to put it aside but in vain.i know that people are not reading my blog anymore or perhaps people that i know so im going to say what i feel here.here it is,i miss him so terribly that the first thing that came to my mind when i wake up every morning is him and i would always check my phone to see that i ever cross his mind even for the slightest second.I know,its been too long that i didnt move on and some are saying that i dont want to move on and that is the reason why i am still thinking about him and definitely loving him so much.i dont know how much longer i can endure this anymore.every single day i hope that you are save wherever you are.I dont mind if he dosent think about me but what is important is he is safe.if ever there is a day that he found his right lady,i will be happy for him.Because i know that there is someone who will love him like how i love him and worry about him if he is home late,i will be happy for him as long as he is happy and that someone is there for him whenever he needs a listening ear.I dont know what else to do right now.I guess that i have to carry on with life but no matter what,you will always be my first.i miss you so much,please take care of yourself.i dont think that you are going to read this but if ever there is a day that you ever come across this blog again,by then i hope that things are better for you.

alright,time to go now.school tmr and i have extra class after school which means a long day plus the heavy vaio that i have to bring.ya Allah let me endure this for a few more months.Assalamualaikum.

2011-06-14T20:15:00.003+08:00

Alright so i decided to come back because i kind of miss blogging and besides,there are things that i wish to share here.first thing first,i didnt realise that i almost had this blog for almost five years!can you believe it?FIVE FREAKING YEARS.HAHAHA On the other note,i have to start on my revising routine every single day even just for a bit.Im going to concentrate on math.so im doing math all the way.well,maybe a little of chem.Oh ive got not much time left.

But anyways,Im having the keri hilson fever again right now.She is just so gorgeous and i realise that almost all of her interviews she talks about how hard life is for her to start on her music industry and how she dosent gets sleep just to get her work done.She says dont let anything bring you down because whatever you do,you can never impress everyone in this world.Simply said,i love her.and my current favourite of her song is Pretty Girl Rock.Her album which is out few months back is awesome too!"No Boys Allowed"

2011-05-02T16:58:00.003+08:00

I'll be away for a long time.goodbye

It has always been you all along.

2011-03-20T08:56:00.002+08:00

As mentioned above.i will still be with you if i had to choose anyone.i dont know what is wrong with me.I know you told me to move on but i just cant.Ive been keeping this feeling for as long as i can remember.I have been keeping it because im scared that if you know that i have yet to move on,you would not want to talk to me.Keeping this feeling is better than you knowing because at least im glad that i could still communicate with you eventhough its rare.It will always make my day.But its been days and i cant control this anymore.I miss you so bad.everything about you.Im sorry.

2011-02-28T20:40:00.002+08:00

First and formost,Happy 13th birthday to Khairul!had a mini celebration with the family by having dinner outside yesterday.he is such a lazy boy but he knows that when its time to work,he will accomplish it.I am blessed having such a caring brother and despite him always being annoying.He is a big boy now and as tall as me.How fast he grow man!

well,hello readers!i am taking a break from my revision and frankly saying,i am not satisfied with myself with so far on what i have done.I know i have yet to give in my best shot and i have not much time left.sometimes i feel so pressurised and i need to let out somehow.I have got som many things to handle but so little time to complete everything.i realise that my daily routine had always been sleeping,doing homework,studying,tweeting most of the time and that is what i will always do.not to mention that sometimes i forget that i have a phone and yes,it is long enough that it has been silent.hahaha!well,i have to admit that i miss having someone to rant my days about and asking how theirs is going.but oh wells,part and parcel of life.just have to be patient with everything.

how i smiled to myself looking at you happy is really a nice feeling.

Trust

2011-02-25T21:17:00.002+08:00

Salam everybody!Life recently had been quite hectic for me.I am left with 7 months to fight this battle and praying to be a victory,insya'Allah.This life have always the up and downs well i just got to deal with it.Mom always say that in live,we cant be too dependent on people because life will be a mess.I admit that currently i am not feeling good.Things are jittery but what do i doooo just carry on the things that i always do.definitely there are somethings that make me smile like a dummy.Well,february is coming to an end and march is marching in which shows that i am running out of time.Everything that revolves around me is studies and family but some people just dont seem to understand.Keep on giving me assignments to settle when i have a major thing to sit for soon.sigh

On the other note,i am excited for F.A.M.E to be out!

2011-02-12T05:54:00.002+08:00

Salam everybody.well,time now currently is 0554 and i am not feeling myself early in the morning.i am not sure what is wrong but i just need assurance.i tried to push aside everything and just carry on with what i am doing but everytime the feeling comes,i just dont know what to do.i don't want my friends to keep on hearing the same thing cause they are tired of it and i think that its fair on their part.i have learn to just keep quiet and try to prevent myself from thinking about it.life has been hard for me lately.waking up to every morning having the fear of weather it is going to be a bad day or not and if it is does turn to a bad one,i just want to escape from everything.most of the time,i would just go out alone and have a peace of mind.even that sometimes dosent work.well,i got my studies to prioritise on for now and what am i supposed to do when im feeling this way.Life taught me a lot but im just scared to encounter it again for the second time.but on the other note,mom is being more supportive and i am getting comfortable talking to her but nowadays,she have got brothers to settle most of the times so she dosent have much time to spare and i understand that.been awake for hours now and im just hoping that today is going to be a good day for everyone.till then:)

p/s i was never ready to let you go.

1st February 2008,2215hrs

2011-01-31T20:26:00.004+08:00

lookin good up there^^

Salam everybody!Its been a while since i had updated this blog.had been quite busy with life.So lets see what i got in my planner.I got tons of homework to be done,too much activities to attend to(dad told me to give it a pause to all).Which i think i may so that i can concentrate more in my studies.Ive got my coursework to due on wednesday and i dont have microsoft word.dad had been too busy with work too.everyday OT.wheather these days had been super cold that it had made me fell sick.even right now,i am supposed to do my history homework which i feel so heavy to attempt.i just feel like stoning.but oh well,after i update this,im going to do it.I am really hoping that tmr is going to be a good day because of some particular reason,it just made me smile thinking of tomorrow.well at least it did,some years back.shall do my work now.till then(:

p/s:best thing that had ever happen to me.dream come true?yes it was:)

2011-01-10T21:07:00.003+08:00

Salam everybody! Its the second week of school and i survived!alright so,things are going slow so the tension is not here yet but i am sure that i will feel it soon enough because im going to make myself do it.was quite disappointed enough with my o level mt results.yeaaaaa,was hoping for an A1 of course but anyways,im going to give my best shot like starting..now?haha,well when thinking about it again,its sad that my batch is gone.and 5/1 and 5/2 are the only classes of batch left.feeling tired now but just gonna take a min to update this blog.other than that,i think that im more then determined to do well.not for myself but for the family of course.wouldnt want to let my parents down.going to bed in awhile.so,going to update the next time.Till then(:

2011-01-01T09:23:00.003+08:00

Oh hi readers.its new year and truthfully,im not really happy about it.partially,i miss 2010 because of all the thrill.i will make sure that 2011 is going to be my year and i will lead to where i go.just something about 2011 makes me excited to explore it.And may you people have a fruitful new year and have fun!Salam

2010-12-30T02:11:00.000+08:00

FOOLED.

2010-12-29T14:29:00.002+08:00

Salam everybody!Its been awhile since i update my blog and trust me,i cant believe that 2011 is here in two days time!time passes by real fast but not when im having fun but full of intensity.2010 has both a good and a bad side of it.the bad side is that,im feeling super exhausted this year with books and worksheets thrown at me to complete.yeah,i do take a time off sometimes and i kept on thinking i cant make it through.i almost gave up but of course with the beautiful around me,i made it.Truly,this year had been memorable for me.Burning the midnight oil for every paper.The most memorable one was when i was studying for my social studies paper the whole night and didnt sleep at all.and had a companion too that night.that was the first time i didnt sleep when there is school the next day.But of course i loved that night.if i were to type all the things that is precious to me,its never going to end.I truly believe i have beautiful people around me but one thing for sure,i cant lose any of them.

Love is something you cant explain.you have to feel.eventhough it hurts sometimes but by seeing the person face whom you love definitely makes your day.May all of you be patient with everything you guys are going through,insya'allah.

p/s: thank you for the short breakfast we had.you made my day(: imy

2010-12-12T19:47:00.002+08:00

Salam.so,how is everybody doing?Life had been quite normal.some happy and unhappy things that i have to deal with.and somethings,i cant even do anything about but just to keep quiet.well,just now,had went to the mosque to take my results for madrasah and alhamdullilah i got 5th in position and got advance promotion to secondary4 instead of 3.mother says insyallah if i graduate next year,she wants me to carry on my Islamic studies and go for a diploma.one result down and one more to go this Friday.N level results.mom says she may be coming for support,so is haikal.and yes,that big boy of mine got circumcised.He is beside me now,asking me to open a packet of crackers after another.and i will be out with the girls to town tmr.its been a long time since i see them.till then,Wassalam(:

p/s:The last time i see you was when we catch a movie.imy

2010-11-29T20:16:00.002+08:00

salam everybody.hmm,what shall i say.most of my friends are working and i am not.oh wells,activites occupied my time and thus,i have no time.Lots of suspense are in this month.

and just have to deal with it.just got home from a family chalet today and phew,it was tiring.Sat with the makciks and pakciks and they were talking about government.and they got me really interested in knowing more.The irony!Everywhere people are saying that people whom are working under governments,their bonus are really high and they are on the safe side.well i vote for private companies.i mean,though it may be risky,the salaries are higher and despite if youre not a Uni grad,the pay is higher.and now,im bragging about work.Chalet was nice though some cousins like to go MIA leaving me with either the old or the kids.or else,i'll be on the ipad.and picture above is my 20 year old skinny cousin.i swear she is as skinny as a toothpick.hahaha but definitely one of the people i enjoy being with.my face is twi times of hers.and upcoming week,ive got plans with the mosque people and i received a text this morning saying that Haji Kamsani,Imam of masjid tentera had passed on.i was quite shocked.he seems to be a healthy man.Oh well,God works in a mysterious way.sedekahkan al-fatehah.all in all,im not really good.People come and go and i suck at dealing with these things.Till then,lail saed.

Take care of yourself.I miss you.

yes you.

2010-11-22T19:01:00.002+08:00

An Old picture.

Salam,its already POP tmr but yet i have to attend with full u.Life lately for me had been so un expectable.Lots of things are happening but i am just not as excited as the old Fina would be this moment.i forgot the last time that i laughed"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" like a mad woman.the most dumb things that will make me laugh hard is no longer funny to me.Where is my humour?aiyaaa,must be my imagination lah.but for sure something is not my imagination and that is i am missing people real badly.mind had been blank too.things change so much in me.oh wells,of to prayers now.

superman,only one.

2010-11-13T19:32:00.002+08:00

salam everybody!just got back from kota tinggi with the UG's and i swear i had a hard time there.the chalet was real creepy at night cause it was uphill and infront is jungle.i had to force the juniors to on the light when sleeping including the toilet light,the night lamp and also my own torch light.at night,i tend to hear noises that made me wake up 4plus am in the morning and unable to sleep.then i will be sitting on the bed and scaring myself with the surrounding like there will be something creeping out under the bed and at the corners will be something starring at me and and the toilet will have something which creeps me out.i had bruises all over my body due to paintball and mosquito bites everywhere.not to mention i got real tan and im feeling sick thanks to the environment there.wanted to go shopping but the teachers insisted that we head back to the resort.so i just bought few things there.i was like a loner.seriously.well,other than zeyang and aravin whom were the only friends i had there.alhamdullilah im home and am really glad to be home.

next up,life had been a rollercoaster ride for me but most to the down ones.i am particularly worried about my results.plus that i miss lots or things and someone .i cant control all these things.i suck at handling things when it comes to my problems so i tend to let it off to the mother or most of the times to myself.well that is life.we just have to live like we're dying.all we have to do is just to pray to the One and hope.i got to do a brush up on my notes for tmr's exam and im done for the day i guess.till then,salam.

the picture.

2010-10-26T19:03:00.002+08:00

Salam all.so,im just gonna do a quick update.O levels mt are coming real soon and i think i have not been doing my practices and im found guilty for that.yesterday,i had a quick catch up with the dearest cousin and i swear we had the best time to release the stress.well,at least for me.I think there is something about the mosque Maulana that i like.its just bit different from the others.brothers exams are killing me.burning the midnight oil.im missing someone real badly now and wish i may have a talk with him.oh wells.lail said.

Quran.The book.

2010-10-14T20:31:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.i think i havent been myself today.im not sure why is that so.maybe in the previous post,i said that im happy but today,i just feel that something is not right.decided to not think about it.On my vaio and wallpaper is the picture above.it makes me feel so right for a moment.anyway,

sometimes,when a person ask me something about Islam,i will try my best to tell what i know and to the limit where i could share by making sure that its a fact that im sharing.i will honestly say when i dont know.i would not preach about it.Its a sin.Felt hurt that once,a mate asked something and i told what i know about the question asked.Instead i was accused of preaching.i felt hurt.From then i didnt dare to say much when people ask me.sigh,though that happen sometime back,im thinking about it till now.i felt very down just thinking a friend not trusting.till then.

Wassalam.

2010-10-13T17:40:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.holidays are in and im kind of missing study already.dont ask me why.its just the irony.Life is going peaceful for the moment.maybe i just needed that.no dramas no pretenders.just the loved ones by my side and keeping me updated,making me smile,im blessed enough living another day in this world.had been going on a breakfast date with mom quite alot lately and i think she wants to understand me better.and i mean wayyyy better than the last time.Alhamdullilah.when i tell my friends about mom,they will say that ibu is really nice and easy going.easy to keep close with.and better sometimes than other moms.i guessed thats one of the things that Allah have blessed me with.my girls are the precious gems that i found.though something is just missing,im sure just someone someday is going to fill up the puzzle that i havent found the piece.not searching,not looking but just going on with what a muslimah should do.but for now or for till whenever,just not into making new friends.till then,have a good day ahead.

N levels are overrr!

2010-10-08T19:37:00.002+08:00

Salam all.the battle is over.yes,N levels re over and i sit and think about things,its really sad how somethings are going to change next year.being in sec 5(insyallah) and taking o level next.picture above dosents says it all actually.people too are going to change.even when schol is yet to end,people are already changing and it is really sad.today was the last paper but i dont really have the feeling of relief when the papers are being collected.really hoping that brothers and myself is going to make to where we want to go.i have yet to have anyplans during this two weeks of holiday yet.soo,bring me out!feeling tired right now.shall rest and look forward to another day.salam

i miss you.

2010-09-26T20:34:00.002+08:00

Salam to all my muslim mates.i know i have posted this picture before and im posting it again because this is what i feel right now.but it is just that i am not prepared to see somethings or rather numerous number of things.for example my N level results.eventhough i have yet to sit for the whole thing,i feel real scared when its going to be the time where im going to get my results.most of the time,i will be thinking of N level and how will i be able to overcome it.insyaallah i will be able to make it.im doing this for my loved ones.i dont have the heart to see my loved ones sad when i get my results.i want them to be happy that i make it through.life right now kind of rough.daily routines had always been sleep,eat,study,school,home and back to square one the next day.nothing special and its kind of sad.My phone especially.i can leave it at home and go to school and when i get home or at night,it will be at the same state.veryvery silent.sometimes i wonder if it is still working.haha,oh wells back to teaching brother and time with mom.its been days since i had a real conversation with her.stories to update to ibu(:

Assalamualaikum.Lail saeed.

ucapan.

2010-09-10T00:05:00.002+08:00

pejam pelik,pejam pelik dah sebulan kita berpuasa.akhirnya Ramadhan dan apabila takbir kedengaran,sedih rasanya.apkah yang sungguh meriah tentang bulan yang mulia ini?apabila kami mengemas rumah bergotong royong,membuat ibadah bersama,mempunyai rasa kesal dan ingin menjadi seorang muslimin/muslimah yang baik.mempunyai rasa ingin yang terbaik untuk Islam.ramadhan yang telah mengajar banyak sungguh di dalam hidupku ini,insyaallah akanku jumpanya lagi pada tahun hadapan.

saya juga mengambil kesempatan menyusun sepuluh jari jemari untuk meminta ampun dan maaf dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki.apa yang selama ni telah dikatakan harap tidak disimpan sebagai dendam.kata kata saya kadang pedas jadi jangan lah ambil ke hati ye.selamat menyambut eid mubarak:)

yes,its you.

2010-09-07T21:12:00.002+08:00

was browsing through my old photos and i found this.its just so beautiful that i cant even describe in in form of words.well,everyone have dreams and one of my dreams is to be someones wife and to be in the mosque which is as beautiful and elegant as that.mashaallah,that would be a really dream come true if it happens...right,snap out of it fina.

so,im down with another paper tmrw and left with 4 papers left for N levels.i didnt know why i was so weak today that i had to call ibu when im in school to tell her what i feel.had nervous breakdown.i was really worried because i cant seem to be remembering anything.excused myself from friends and headed to the washroom.took my ablution.Alhamdullilah,i manage to calm down and entering the room with quite a peace of mind.struggle a little in the beginning but got the hang of it.insyaallah i will pass for this paper and also for the rest of my papers.got to get back to my notes.lail said.

Terawih.

2010-09-05T17:44:00.003+08:00

Its few days away from aidilfitri and just one night away from N level.personally,i think what i have learned and revised is never enough.though its only MT paper tmrw but yours truly is feeling quite nervous for this national exam.i cant think of aidilfitri right now.truthfully,im not that excited because i have other things in mind.academics for instance and also that im bringing myself closer to Allah.So far,i let Him know everything that i need.insyaallah He may fufill it.i love hearing about Islam.sometimes after isyak grandma will call me by her side with telekong still on,sitting on the sejadah and tell me about Islam and her experience in mecca.what im doing today is just to revise for tmrw and tuesday.thought of going terawih at Assyakirin tonight but ive got no companion.its okay,maybe i will go alone.got to continue with revision.till then.

it means goodnight.

2010-09-03T20:47:00.002+08:00

Salam alaik.had a great talk with grandma and ibu moments ago.last time,i use to have a wrong thinking about her but when i tried to my myself in her position and i know how hard it is to raise a lady.ibu just wants the best for me and brothers too of course.being the only 'princess' that they have,they want a lady.not a girl.in this 16years that i have lived in this world,parents would try to fully equipped me in every way they could but i guess they fed me bit too much the result where im plump.ahaha!granny too i think did a good job in raising her daughters to what they are now.ibu knew i was not myself today.trying not to sound like she always do when im sad,she said"lets go shop for some things."she bring me to a shoe shop.well,a mother knows best what her daughter likes.she describe life as heels.the high ones,they are beautiful,elegant and tempting to get but when you put it on,after awhile you will feel the intense pain on the feet.but the low ones,it looks nice but not to the extend of the same standard as high heels.they may make our feet tired but not pain.in life,we want a lot of things and we always want the best but the consequences too are high to the extend that it may make you suffer when we get it.but if we get the things that we usually put at the last few on our want list,they will make us have a better life than the ones that we die for.ibu says,be thankful of what you have.if something is meant to be yours,you will get it without even you asking for it.seize this last few days of ramadhan and do what you have to do brothers and sisters.Laila sa'id

calligraphy.

2010-09-02T23:53:00.003+08:00

salam alaik to all.well,Ramadhan is coming to an end and it seems to be passing by real fast.and again,exam in my head now.it spins my head right round right round.you readers might be thinking why did i post the above picture well,i have been wanting to learn grafitti and well,i didnt manage to and i decided to go for arabic calligraphy.and why am i even talking about it in the first place?its just 2 days and i miss fasting.i wanna fast,i wanna terawih,i wanna solat.i dont want these few days of ramadhan to go to waste.In life,there are things that make you happy and things that make you sad.you just have to accept it because Allah is the one whom gave us all these obstacles.there is always hikmah behind every sorrows.

air mata syawal.

2010-09-01T09:12:00.002+08:00

I dont know about you readers but i feel that ramadhan this year is really passing by so fast and that without some of us even realising,next week is already syawal.and besides that,yours truly is sitting for my major exams too.i just dont feel that i should celebrate.Being a muslimah,i have my flaws and there is just something inside me which makes me feel wrong but i always feel that way.ha to the ha!currently im listening to air mata syawal.never fail to touched me.but yet again,im bragging about what i got for prelims.my plan for today and so that it would not get wasted is,gonna drag myself to the library nearby.spending most of my time today there for self study.heading there soon to get seats.good day readers!

bagaimana acuan,begitulah kuihnya.

2010-08-31T16:31:00.003+08:00

few days away from N level is all i can think of right now,getting my prelim result just now was not good and yes,disappointment,eventhough i improved from midyear,still the points that i have now is just not satisfying.this is not time for me to think about all points.and like Ms Lin had said,no point looking at the piece of paper if i dont work and go for better points.im like denzel in distress.i had enough of raya preparations already.mom says she can manage it alone and all she want is for me to have good marks.thats the reason why i love her.she totally understand my situation.

come back

2010-08-30T06:07:00.002+08:00

right,so have activated savetheworldfina and unprivate it.it was just for the moment that i missed blogger.all memories are held here and all are left like how it is supposed to be.it feels weird updating through here cause im frequent at tumblr instead but oh wells.this is just going to be some place where i let my feelings go and do what it wants.salam to happy fasting:)

2010-03-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

baby,letting go was never easy.

lifes.

2010-02-18T09:59:00.002+08:00

Ever thought of how people behave nowadays is totally different from the past?well yeah,things change alot from the past till now.things change,people change.it is really sad to see things change.for instance,the buildings.isnt it just beautiful like the way it is?no high rise buildings and no busy roads,no ERP and everything?just a simple and a peaceful and not a busy city like this.people change,the way they dress change,their attitude change.living in a city is not easy.people are competitive.and it is a stressful life out here.but as a teenager living in the city,i get adapted to it.and as a teenager,i get influence in things.dont get me wrong,readers.i get influence with things like shopping and getting pampered.having to want alot of things.branded goods and everything.without realising,i am actually wasting money but i cant help it.it gets to addictive to buy new things.clothes especially.everyday when im on the way home and walking through jurong point,apparels stores just calls me.i try to compromise things with buying at least one thing per month.i used to be able to survive without be able to shop for months but i start again when last year holiday begins.to all my brothers and sisters out there,be cautious of the things that you want to buy yeah?you might never know that it is a burden to our parents.

2010-02-03T19:47:00.003+08:00

its been ages since i updated savetheworldfina.well,particularly i had been busy and lazy.haha,so life had been quite fine ane rough though.i just gotta bear with it.all i do is study,study,study.cant even have a peaceful time to just use the laptop for a long time.sheesh.though i do pamper myself most of the times.hmmm;i just dint know what to say.so,good day readers!

2010-01-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

sorry for being MIA for a long time.its the strating of the year and im held up with alot of things.will be back soon.take care!

2009-12-29T10:57:00.000+08:00

inspiration.dreadlocks please?hehe

2009-12-24T21:29:00.002+08:00

Ah yes!hello there readers.well,today is well spent with mother by going to arab street and stuff.had our dinner at zam zam then waited for dad to fetched us.and tmr will be heading to jb with family to shop:)
i like it when i spend alot of time with people whom are close to heart.
good day people.Assalamualaikum

2009-12-21T13:06:00.000+08:00

aww,gaga sounds so cute.i think im liking her

2009-12-20T21:22:00.003+08:00

there,i had loads of fun with dee,syifaa,aisha.i made friends!hehe.i know this is kind of late to update but who cares!they made my day which is on wednesday.

chris brown,jesse mccartney

2009-12-15T16:03:00.006+08:00

oh yes,it is the chris brown heat now.i simply just love his new album.
i know he is a changed man.

there,this another guy.jesse mccartney is just awesome.

2009-12-11T15:21:00.002+08:00

hello there readers!well,today dad took a day off then he decided to bring us to go rollerblading(;
after his friday prayers,we were supposed to be out but till now,yet to.anyhoos,i received a letter from school telling that ive got the eagles award.i think its the award that mr sim had told me.well,the $200 could only be collected in january.nothing much though.till the next post.good day and wassalam.

2009-12-10T14:25:00.002+08:00

yes,i know that i had been neglecting savetheworldfina.so,lately i had been spending most of my time with family and cousins.well,just to avoid being bored and to have distraction from undesirable thinking.particularly i have nothing much to update about.But,went to take my madrasah results and i got good results.alhamdullilah:)well,i did not expect that i could do that good.

and nowadays,i had been playing games too.hahaa,not exactly a thing for me but who cares.its fuuun ;) that is all then.till the next post readers.wassalam.

;dee,lets go and have our story telling session again:)

just too cute

2009-12-03T23:06:00.002+08:00

honestly,i am really scared of cats.i would just avoid it whenever i see one no matter if it is at relatives place or a public place.but this kitten is way to different.i dont fear of it not because its 2D but it is so tempting to be held.i cant believe im saying this but i want to have one exactly like that.

2009-12-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

this a tough song to do but she managed.(Y)

2009-11-30T19:29:00.003+08:00

Well, hello there readers.its been quite awhile for me on blogger.im kind of not in the mood to update savetheworldfina.reminiscing back the past on how i could come up with this url,its kind of funny now.hahaha,i remembered that last year i was obsessed with this superman thingy and that i'll be the supergirl.i just couldnt resist the sight of any superman things.actually,its till now i liked it but not to the extend anymore that im the supergirl.and i remembered too that i wanted to be the supergirl because i want everyone around me to be happy so i had to save them in anyway but now,i realised that i cant do it anymore.maybe alittle but im no longer the one.ive got no intention of changing this url because it holds alot of memory in me.the thought of it is funny when how could just the phrase savetheworldfina could hold alot of memory right?haha,its been more than a year and i still like it though.and also,reading back all the past years post just make me laugh,touched,and ask myself the question"was i really like this in the past?"hahaha.

im sorry if this post is crappy with all about savetheworldfina.anyhoos,i'll be away so the update may be later?i hope not.so,take care readers.

assalamualaikum:)

2009-11-27T11:56:00.002+08:00

yay!cousins coming over today!picturespictures(L)
and oh,the picture above i just find it nice because of the yellow.haha
i think i like yellow:)

4th post and proper post.

2009-11-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

i realise that i had not been updating properly.so yeah,here it goes.tomorrow is raya haji and just zohor today,i received a call from my uncle telling that a close friend of my grandma had passed on.its really a sad thing that it happen just like that.her daughter went pilgrimage just like 4 days ago and this happen.i cant go on anymore.cousins are coming over tmr and yeah it'll be at my house.will be waiting then.

have a goodnight readers.assalamualaikum:)

2009-11-26T20:47:00.001+08:00

i love this new cover.he looks much better as times goes by and his voice are hitting those notes.not to mention those dance moves,Good Job! Chris Brown all the way.

2009-11-26T13:26:00.001+08:00

im craving for rendang since the day i was sick:(

discharged

2009-11-26T13:20:00.000+08:00

hehe.Alhamdullilah,my condition is stable now.

2009-11-24T20:27:00.005+08:00

this is the 3rd time of the day that i post and by each post i realise,its getting very hurtful for me.
i cannot go on like this anymore.it seems like day by day,im losing the people i love.im trying the best i can to save it but each time when i try,i failed and eventually i get hurt even more.is it even wrong for me to be happy?people whom i love just fade away from my life without even saying anything.this feeling suck.i need a person to be here with me but i dont know who.everyone is busy with their things and the person whom i trust so much is not even talking to me.i dont know why.what have i done wrong?we are not even friends now because u dont even talk to me.i dont know whats happening.i am lost.but i know that im down for sure.because anyone can just say without proving it. ure pursuing for your happiness that u had been longing for.

2009-11-24T19:58:00.003+08:00

i really had enough of everything in whats happening around me.i had been keeping quiet and following orders yet im blamed for everything.great,really great.come on,if u think that u have the guts to complain,say to me and say that u really hate me for what im doing.i did the right thing yet i am blamed.i was just doing my thing as a senior and this is what i get.ure saying that u people have yet to eat.and im asking now,have i?was i eating when i took care of u?it was good enough that i gave u the rations that was left in the np room.i gave u people and u people even took all the milos.i kept quiet.i too,was eating the rations only.did i eat some kind of huge meal?yet,u are complaining like some kind of a bunch of babies.if u think that being in np is just to mock at people,i tell u now,its not!oh,i embaressed u in front of alot of people?did i tell u to do all those nonsensical things?its not that i dont want to sent u people home but GG still needs our help.i was feeling unwell too.on the day before,i totally didnt know that training is supposed to end at 2.30.and in the 1st place,why didnt u people take your lunch?i was in school the whole morning and i merely eat just a packet of biscuits which was left in the np room.yet,in the end u people get to eat what mr sim had bought for u people.correct me if im wrong,u people are a bunch of pampered people whom just step on the head of seniors whom are lenient.i dont care that if my rank would be stripped off because i know,what i do is not wrong.

THINGS JUST CANT GET WORSE IN MY LIFE.

its blood,no seperation

2009-11-24T11:48:00.005+08:00

picture taken when i was out with her a few days back.we shared stories and stuff.about lifes.plus,its a sad thing that arfah could not make it last min.nvm,there will always be a next time right,dear cousins?:)

huhu,im proud to have a cousin like her,Dian Hazwani.
&oh,it runs in the blood to sing.HAHAHA:)

2009-11-22T00:03:00.002+08:00

alright,greetings to all readers.do forgive me for not updating.i wanted a time on my own forawhile.well,i've yet to sleep despite my body feeling tired due to the massive training i had the past two days cause i just cant sleep.went to school again earlier despite i refused to because of the sec2s whom had no one to take care of them.luckily wani was there to accompany.so yeah,ended around 1plus then off home.was feeling unwell.upon reaching home,did prayers and slept.i couldnt take it.woke up later to do my asar.while waiting for azan,i fell asleep on the sejadah.so had to take wudhu again. then mom told me to accompany her to bukit batok as she wanted to get somethings.along the way there she made me smile with her cute actions.haha
she held my hand and said"eh,panasnye badan kakak!air con dalam bus ni rosak eh."i laughed and said no lah,sejuk ade lah.she was slow and finally she said oh,kakak demam ni.hehee,cute.had been spending quality time with her.thats all,till the next post.goodbye

i dont feel like pouring it here but i just cant hold it.im reminising all the past.im missing it though i know that i have no right to say this.ive been doing things to distract me.yet,it just wont go away.its been hard.im sorry.

mia

2009-11-17T07:52:00.001+08:00

Terminated.

redha

2009-11-16T17:55:00.001+08:00

i have thought it through and there's no point rushing in solving this problem.for this,it needs time.

2009-11-14T04:03:00.002+08:00

it 4.14am right now and i just cant get my eyes to sleep.im missing the someone now.its been a long time,i know.i just cant stop thinking about it and seeing the situation we're in.i miss all those laughter we had.but now,its gone because of me.

its the 14th and i hope that eventhough we are actually not ourself in the outer self but it is in the inner self.though times are rough.

p/s;avoided.

horrible.

2009-11-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

i feel that i need a time of my own.i guess that everything around me is wrong.i want to be alone.i need to sort out things on my own.my mind is at a mess and no one is helping by comforting me.sometimes i feel useless that ive lived in this world for 15years but yet,i cant be independent in solving my own problems.i feel that i have been neglected by everyone.no one seems to hear what i am saying.i guess that it is the best to keep quiet because when u want to let it out,things may just get worse.i know that i am thinking too much but its logic.things may just happen.i am not strong as what i want to be.i remembered friends use to call me supergirl but now,im no longer one.im just an ordinary girl which people would come to me and go.i know i can go through all this just like the old supergirl.and i know that to just do it myself is the best.till the next post.goodbye.

2009-11-10T18:01:00.002+08:00

remember this girls?:)

alright,greetings to all.im going to say something out here.i realise that nowadays,i tend to get mood swings very often and there will be times when im at my down.i will start to think negatively then.and then i will make someone mad at me with my words:( the next moment,i will then realise that i did something wrong.by then,it could be late.sigh.sometimes,im controlling myself to think negatively or even not to think too much because it is not good for my health right?

next up.this friday is POP.whoa,im like so lazy to go.for now,i dont really like NP anymore.its like there are alot of conflicts among us.that is the thing i dont like about it.plus,there is no unison between us.initially,this person will hate this person and this person will hate another person.it just carry on.sigh,there are also whom just want to run the unit alone without the rest about it.and when u dont do work,people will talk behind your back.sometimes i just wish that this unit will be exactly like how i dreamt about.till the next post then.goodbye

and oh,i just miss u very much:(
i want to spend time with you:(

updatee.

2009-11-08T08:07:00.002+08:00

alrights,greeting to all readers.i know i have not updated this blog of mine for quite a number of days.i had not been busy but its just that i am lazy.hahh.since today i am not lazy,i'll update then.on friday,all the NA classes plus NT were brought to ben and jerry's place at demsey.truthfully,i did not expect the place to be that hip.along the way there,i thought that i would not enjoy myself.most of us dont.but who knows that its a great experience for everyone.hahaha.

next was yesterday.i had my chef competition and i won it,NOT:(
the winner of the competition was greenridge sec.and oh,this sweet teddy bear of mine,cheered up my day eventhough i kept on sulking.i was really not in the mood all because of the competition.i know,crap.but even i,myself did not expect that it is going to be a big thing for me.oh well,its over and who know i may try it again:)till the next post then.goodbye.

p/s.sometimes,hopes are meant to be trashed.

2009-11-02T17:49:00.000+08:00

i dont know why but i am just disappointed with alot of things :(

madu:)

2009-11-01T09:38:00.004+08:00

greeting to readers.
alright,lets start from yesterday.started off the day with going to Shatec.well,it was mystery basket yesterday.i was having a hard time at the beginning but as time flows on,i just create anything that came to my mind with the ingredients that i had.it took me 20mins to figure out what to cook.sheesh!at last,i made up chicken roulade with the filling of squid and prawns.adding up to the mushroom sauce.that was for the main dish and as for the appetizer,i used salad with chicken and capsicum which was for the add-ons. and stir fried peach as deco.gosh!luckily i managed to finished it up on time.but while the chef was commenting,i realised that i did not do the starch-.-ended at around 1plus and off to meet madu:)

had a great-great day yesterday despite having a sore throat.and today,i am not going out perhaps cause i am not feeling well.that is all i guess then.till the next update.take care.goodbye.
overall it was alright.

cloud nine.

2009-10-30T19:27:00.003+08:00

WOHOOO!
esokesokesok.hehehe:)

and waduh,i miss dee and arfah.

anywaysss,greeting to all!alright,today is the last day of school buuutttt only for the sec1 and 2s.i will have to come back for the next two week plus i bet that i have other things to attend at school-.-but i dont mind as long as i am happy:D

so,today did nothing much except for that we started of the day by knowing our positions.i was so damn unlucky to get13th D: then headed off for an early recess proceed to the hall where we had the deepa raya concert but it was sucha bore,trust me.it was not entertainig at all.at least i have somethinf else to prevent me from dosing off to sleep and that is to camwhore with whoever had brought their camera along.azham sat at the back-.-,if not i had play around with his dslr.haha

and yay!tomorrow im going to meet madu!:D
im a happy girl,period.

(Y)

2009-10-29T20:19:00.002+08:00

hello readers.at last i am back from ubin and truthfully speaking,it was not that of what i had expected.haha.so,yesterday i came back from the camp and i feel damn sick.hah,basically because i was having cramps all over my body.sheesh.and i really-really find that this year's stc is such a bore.i mean like we did not do anything much.all i did was just the jetty jump,tunneling,night crawl,high elements plus pt.area cleaning and lastly,the area cleaning.commonwealth is like the last school to go off as one cadet had lost her valuables.and i really pity her alot.i mean it seems like nobody cares to help.and the person whom lose it didnt take the responsibility.

anyhoos,today i went back to school.nothing much happen execpt for that we start off the day with handball which i had injured my leg(-.-) followed by the spelling bee which i like the surrounding of the class and lastly, was fnn.then ni ended the day.

well,tomorrow is the last day of school,so called.because i had to attend the 2weeks extended timetable.pfffft!this saturday,im going shatec.again!hee.alright then thats all.maybe i'll update soon.thats all then.till the next post.goodbye.

woohoo:D

2009-10-26T08:32:00.004+08:00

greetings to all.exams results are out and im just not satisfied with it.and ohno!tomorrow is STC:S
but i bet its going to be much better than the previous year because ive known quite alot of other people from other schools.so,it wont be a problem for me finding friends.but the thing is that i dont wish to suffer.its been a long time since i received all those screamings and rushing.and nono,i dont want to do the jetty jump.i can just freak out.omg!

okay,shut up fina.ure just like a complain queen.i should just get it done and over with.afterall,its just a 2 days1night camp.it would not be that hard aint it?yeah,i should just stop bragging about it.on a brighter note,im happy that i can just skip the f&n trip to ubin.i have the feeling that it is going to be a bore.

i just had the best days that i had longed to have for the past two days.i am a happy girl,period :D
and oh!,good luck to all those o'level candidates(:
thats all then,till the next post.goodbye.

2009-10-22T19:47:00.001+08:00

i am not satisfied with my marks.i feel like breaking down.im sorry that i had disappoint u:(

pabila dibelengu kerinduan

2009-10-19T21:29:00.002+08:00

why am i feeling like this again?
i hate this.
i am feeling so alone.
i miss it.
i know i cannot feel like this.
i am not supposed to.
i am feeling so horrible now.

2009-10-19T17:46:00.002+08:00

greetings to all readers.i said in the previous post that im not going out till school is open but just now i went out forawhile and i went to snip off my fringe:S
i kinda like it somehow eventhough it was totally unplanned.nowadays,i tend to not know what to write at my blog but what i know is that im going to put "I AM SCARED FOR RESULTS!"
Sheesh!it just shivers me out when just thinking about it.and oh,i like another song now.hee!
its keep forgetting by jojo.thats all then.till the next post.goodbye.

2009-10-18T20:37:00.004+08:00

im sorry:(

ending of raya

2009-10-16T08:07:00.002+08:00

greeting to all.yesterday raya-ing with friends was alright exept for the part when i had blisters.by the end of the day,i was effing tired.i love the picture taking.mine was the last house and trust me,all were exhausted excluding ika,azham and rozzi.they still have got the space to fill in the tummy.and oh,today was like the record that each and every house,there is noodles.all the pictures should be up at fb but ika has yet to upload it.nadia and i wore the exact same colour and the brand of bag.we didnt planned it.haha.thats all then,goodbye

2009-10-14T15:54:00.003+08:00

exams are over and fear is haunting me.i am scared but yet,all up to Allah for if wanna change my heart.its raining heavily right now.im feeling lonely and im missing the past.im stucked.i dont know what is up with me.i get too emotional just thinking about some light matters.im in love with one time by justin bieber.its nice,not to mention that its cute.

its 4th

2009-10-14T00:11:00.002+08:00

remember this?
remember the times when u sang to me?
remember the past?
i just cant stop.

; 4th .

random.

2009-10-13T11:43:00.000+08:00

this songs keeps repeating in my mind.sheesh:(

i'll update tonight

mom,u mean the world to me.

2009-10-05T18:36:00.003+08:00

beat of my heart ;

oh Allah,please give me the strength that i need.its the exams period and i want to keep everything aside for the moment.this is what i want.i want my future just like how i had dream.i know somethings are just meant to be not its way but all i ask now is for me to succeed in what i want no matter how rough the time are.its time to let my mind lead the way and no longer my heart.i dont mean no harm to people i just want to be strong.

"i wonder if you and your heart are ready but u have my heart and i cant let u go.i just cant stop following my heart."

2009-10-04T12:27:00.000+08:00

ya,allah.kuatkanlah imanku dan tekunkanlah hatiku.

just so you know.

2009-10-03T09:48:00.001+08:00

its time.

2009-10-03T07:19:00.004+08:00

whats the meaning of all this?i trust but this is what i get?betrayed?i know all of the things that i say to u is just another buzzing sound to your ear.nothing comes to u.u think what you do is right and u want to be happy.and what about me?am i just a dust in your life?i dont own anything?uve been keeping things from me.exams are here and yes,i really want to do well byt how am i supposed to when ure treating me like this?i dont want to get another blow from you.tell me what is up your sleeve.it seems like someone means more and always be the one.im aware i dont know anything but what made me jumps to conclusions is all because of u.u kept things from me and how am i supposed to understand.ive still got the rest of my last words that have yet to be unsaid.

izaan,im breaking down.its the last hope.

lafazkan

2009-10-02T17:21:00.002+08:00

alrights!greetings to all.
i had my mt paper today and it is do-able.later on,i'll be out with family later on and im kind of feeling sick.and tomorrow will be out again.come on!i want to study.right now,mum is pestering me to get dressed up when i am in the moment of completing the last chunk of my coursework.anyhoos,spend time with dee and i like it.seems like its left the two of us who survive to be the non minah reps.hee

lafazkanlah kata cinta ;

naluriku berkata ;

2009-09-30T22:17:00.003+08:00

aku menyembunyi saat kepedihan.

somethings are just meant to kept as a secret.and everyone has it.i,too have it and think that this place is no longer a safe place to let it out no more cause to me,this is just between me and myself.now,i just want to concentrate on my EOY.yes,i am having my own problems yet i want to keep it to myself rather than asking people for helpi have to learn to stand on my own feet so when people leave,i will still stand tall with everything i have.nothing will get through my way.

"_ _ _ _ _, thank you for everything u have done for me.u taught me alot of things."

Salam Aidilfitri

2009-09-20T22:36:00.003+08:00

greetings to all.i am at my cousin's crib right now.somehow,i have nothing else to do.i am stuck at dee's room cause i just cant stand the heat outside with the heboh.pada bulan yang suci ini,i dont want to feel sad and having to feel what i dont want to feel.sheesh!time check now is 11.03 and i am not tired yet.alhamdullilah,after the period of time when my dad is not supposed to be what he is,now he is back to himself and laughing having fun with my aunts and uncles.i just hope that things will just be fine.and i mean everything,insyallah.pictures of today will be uploaded soon.thats all for now.

2009-09-19T18:10:00.002+08:00

i dont know what else to say.i dont want to be sad but i just cant help it.what else did i do wrong that i should go through this?i dont want it to end.

2009-09-19T09:02:00.001+08:00

esok raya you!i tak sabar jumpe cousin-cousin and tengok siapa hothot.hehh
okay,im off to buy santan for mother!

okay,SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!8)

the old.

2009-09-17T18:44:00.004+08:00

greetings to all.i know it has been days since i updated.so yeah,here i am.2more days left till the end of the fasting month and somehow,i feel sad.yet,at the same time i am really ashamed that there is an increasing number of malay who will initially just eat in public without feeling guilty or embaressed.notice that i say malay and not muslims.to me,it just make the name of islam bad.sigh

anyhoos,i am back to my study mode.and i am happy that i am.well,when i am in my study mode,i will tend to feel uneasy when i dont do work.hah.and oh,my coursework as all gone down the drain.sheesh!goodbye to my sony thumbdrive:(

i dont think that i will finish my work on time with the practical next week plus the handing in of coursework.

and oh,im in love with this(:

2009-09-12T22:16:00.001+08:00

i miss u so much.

happy advance 3rdmonth,ilysm.

your smile.

2009-09-10T21:07:00.002+08:00

alright,i just finished my prayers and maybe later on i'll be revising abit.today,i did not go out cause 1st thing,i am helping mother to bake.2nd,3straight days i will be out.3rd,my heart is still not at ease.for the past days,i cant sleep.at times,i would just sit and stare and when i am sleepy,scary things all of the sudden came to my image.it is making me suffer besides other personal problems.

;sometimes,staying in my room just makes me want to cry as it reminds of all the beautiful past.

;though it is not quite the same but your smile just make my heart calm.

2009-09-09T23:05:00.000+08:00

Tabah,Redha,Takdir is all i think and do now.

isi hati.siapa?

2009-09-08T21:35:00.003+08:00

aku tidak dapat menahan sebak di hati ini lagi.aku perlukan seseorang pada saat ini untuk mendengar isi hatiku.apakah ia satu kesilapan untuk aku mendiamkan diri.apa yang telah berlaku,tiada kenanya ke aku.mengapakah harus aku melalui rintangan ini?aku tidak sangka engkau adalah seburuk.aku sedang melakukan yang wajib,adakah itu salah?haruskah aku mendapat peritnya hingga susah untukku baring?aku tidak dapat tidur,apakan lagi baring.peritnya tidak dapat dikata.aku meraung tiada gunanya,ia hanya sia-sia.tiada siapa yang menolong.ibu,haruskah aku menerima ini?apakah kesalahanku?Ya Allah,mengapa?aku tidak kuat untuk menanggung segalanya.aku hanya hambamu.segalanya adalah takdir yang harus aku lalui,aku pasti segalanya akan berakhir lambat laun.Insya'Allah.

2009-09-08T11:18:00.002+08:00

i dont know what to do right now.i feel so horrible.i dont us to argue anymore.i know i started all this,u mentioned it but i want it to end but i dont want all this to end just by us going our separate ways.i cant carry on like this.

Ya Allah,akhirkanlah semua masalah ini dengan cara yang baik.aku tidak sanggup lagi menderita.hukumlah aku kerana aku bersalah.buatkanlah dia bahagia kerana dialah yang telah mengajarku kearahmu.

2009-09-07T15:03:00.000+08:00

things are just meant to be like it is supposed to be.

confession

2009-09-07T10:00:00.000+08:00

for if only i had a chance to let out everything but i cant.
i want everything to be perfect for everyone,just the way they want it to be.
people may think that i am pampered,egoistic,heartless.people think that what i do is just to make myself happy.well,here's a confession.yes,i am not perfect.at times,i just do things as i like without thinking.i'll not realise that what i am doing is making other people unhappy,lower their self-esteem.im sorry.i know i am a bad person.if there is anything,i am willing to do and change for the better.i need a really hard bang on my head and get to my senses.i am taking everything for granted.and,i thank Allah s.w.t so much for making me to be born in this world and get to know a person.he lead me to the right path where i once almost lost.he bear the pain that i had not realised where i am the cause of it.i had always been giving him problems yet he tried to avoid just to save our relationship.he tried his best to give me attention eventhough he can't always be.and if i were to lose him again,things may not be the same for me.

2009-09-05T09:21:00.003+08:00

sometimes its just the best to keep yourself in the dark aint it?

hello readers.it has been days since i updated my blog right?so yea,here i am since i am having my free time now.later on will be heading to army open house but i dont feel like it.every year,it has always been the same.the airshow,playstation,food,their things,display of their airplane.so,im still considering.yesterday was so super tiring day for me.sheesh!i almost vomited and almost broke fast.luckily after a few minutes of rest,i was alright.promotion test was tense.i mean everyone wants to be promoted,who dosent.after hours,it was my turn for the Method of Instruction.i was shocked cause at that point of time,i did not know what to teach so at last i decided to teach pusing without rusuk.and i thought i screwed it but alhamdullilah i passed.reaced home at7.35 and yea,i did not managed to break fast on time.mother and bf is being such a sweetheart by asking me where am i.reached home,bath,prayers then i had my food.i encounter 2 cramps at one night.pffft!always happen.and tagboard is so dead.im sad:(

i wish that i would not create any problems and make my mother happy all the time.i love u,mother

2009-09-03T20:02:00.001+08:00

all i think of right now is eggs and nothing else.
it seems like everyday im having test.sheesh!

mother.

2009-09-01T11:20:00.001+08:00

all of the sudden,i miss everyone.
i miss friends.
i miss dee.
i miss my late grandpa.
i miss bf.
& i miss the happy times we had.

i guess im not going out today execpt for that mother maybe going to geylang which i have been wanting to go for the past week.i dont feel good now,i dont know what is wrong.maybe because of what is happening around me.mother and i had a talk just now.i had always been her listening ear.i pity her,alot.and im going to do my part as daughter.i promise.plus she too told me that all this while when i am talking to bf otp and when she scold it is not because she dislike him but it is because she is jealous.she wants my attention.she wants me to always be there for her.im sorry mother.from now onwards,i will.just tell me when u need me.i love u so much,mother.

i really do.

2009-08-31T14:49:00.002+08:00

i know i had made u angry for what ive done but i thought that it was all okay.what happen?why do u still sound angry?have i done another mistake,if i have please tell me what is it.i dont know.i really dont want us to carry on like this.it is making me feel scared.i know i am wrong,im sorry.

i love you so much.

break fast outside please?

2009-08-29T09:22:00.003+08:00

mother but people say we looked like sisters which made her feel young and i feel old.boohoo

yesterday was alright.start up my day with bf,then after that had my fnn,i was pissed as no one inform me that there is a test.thank u so much eh mdm v for not telling me after u had sent me off to take somethings for u.great,really great.after that had pe,somehow this is the best pe eversince last year?well,everyone was playing rough the last part.i just simply hate the chinese guys.still,i had a great game with the rest.went to taf and when i was playing,i forgot that i was fasting so i just played rough till the whole thing end,i remembered that i was fasting and i started to feel thirsty.still,i endured.hehh.and yesterday's np was alright and it has been a long time i felt dirty with mud at my back and my pants were all wet due to the rain.went home with faizah and amirah.upon reaching interchange,bid gdbye to amirah and off home with faizah.and now,im having cramps at my arms.and,i want to breakfast outside:(

one and only(: